I am going to write here about an aspect of my experience of being a woman. I am interested in hearing from anyone who wishes to engage in discussion based on relevant objective facts, or who has questions for clarification about my experience or thinking. I do not wish to be told that my experience is incorrect, because that is an absurd thing to tell someone, and I have heard it more than enough times. If people wish to discuss their own experiences, that is fine with me, but it is not something I am actively seeking here. I am trying to express and better understand my own thoughts.
\nMy experience of being a woman has sometimes included being treated as “other” in ways that didn’t make sense to me. Today, I want to talk specifically about how this has happened in the realm of safety and risk, especially regarding risks posed by other people.
\nWhen I went to start my undergrad studies at UC Berkeley, I signed up to live in Stern, an all-female dormitory. I chose it because it was slightly less expensive than the mixed-gender dorms. As part of the “welcome activities”, the residents were told, in effect, “This is an urban campus and it is dangerous for young women to be out alone after dark. You should always travel in packs or pairs, and you should call campus security to escort you if you need to walk the quarter mile home from the library late at night.” I found this suggestion absurd, and immediately ignored it. I decided that the risk to my safety from travelling a well-lit campus sidewalk at night (with my ears and eyes open) was less than the risk to my safety from regarding myself as a delicate, defenseless person who needed escorts to participate in the same activities as my male peers. I don’t know whether my male peers were given similar instructions, but I felt that the instructions I received implied that my female gender was the reason for heightened fear and heightened security measures. Back then, I rejected that premise but felt guilty about it. I felt like I was being a bit of an unreasonable risk-taker by refusing the suggested approach, but I also felt like the suggested approach itself promised guaranteed harm by taking away my ability to move confidently and independently through the campus and city.
\nI was reminded of this experience this morning, reading a post by a woman in a group for gravel bicycling. She wrote, “We want more women in cycling...BUT...she has to... ...check which roads feel safe before she can enjoy the ride. ...explain why a dark, isolated route makes her uncomfortable.” I resent the implication in these words, that I, as a woman, would or should have discomfort with unsafe, dark, or isolated roads that would not apply to men.
\nI spent a little bit of time with Claude (AI) this morning checking on the relevant statistics. As a first pass, I have a few findings about assault in the USA:
\n“In 2010, males (9.5 victimizations per 1,000 males) experienced violence by strangers at nearly twice the rate of females (4.7 per 1,000). The gap was bigger in 1993, when the male rate was nearly three times the female rate.” https://bjs.ojp.gov/press-release/violent-victimization-committed-strangers-1993-2010
\nA 2010 survey found that 1 in 5 women has been raped at some point in her life. Among those who were raped, the woman’s relationship to the rapist broke down like this: “Acquaintance 46.7%, intimate partner 45.4%, stranger 12.9%, family member 12.1%, person of authority 2.6%.” This adds up to more than 100% because of survey respondents who had rapists in more than one of these categories. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss6308a1.htm
\nIn my opinion, the statistics in the USA do not support the idea that I am taking on a greater risk than a male cyclist is by riding in places that are unlit or isolated. Given this information, I continue to find that the greater risk to my safety (which includes my sense of security, my feeling of being safe and okay in the world) is the discourse itself. It makes more sense to give me special warnings about socializing with people I know, than it does to warn me to stay safe from strangers in the world. I personally don’t feel that I need either sort of warning. But I bristle at the suggestion that I don’t belong in the world or in the wild because I’m a woman.
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\nMy experience of being a woman has sometimes included being treated as “other” in ways that didn’t make sense to me. Today, I want to talk specifically about how this has happened in the realm of safety and risk, especially regarding risks posed by other people.
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